CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
Beth could not have said exactly what prompted her to leave the others.
True, she was fed-up with playing eye contact games with Mick nor was she in
the least amused by his clumsy attempts make her feel jealous of Irina. On the contrary, she felt quite sorry for the
elf girl who was clearly smitten with Mick’s boyish charm. No, it was something
else altogether, almost as if a voice in her head was urging her to get away
from there without delay. At the same time, it seemed the most natural thing to
go for a pee.
She was on her way to rejoin the others when something rubbed
against her leggings. Looking down, she
gave a delighted gasp, “Ace!” The little dog wagged its tail and allowed itself
to be scooped up and fussed over while slopping a pink tongue all over the
girl’s beaming face. In no time at all,
though, Ace began to wriggle furiously and Beth put him down. “No, this way,”
she tried to insist as it ran off in the opposite direction.
Ace paused at
one of the outer tent flaps, flung her a look as it to say, “Well, come on!
What are you waiting for?” and then proceeded to run back and forth without
making a sound but persistently nibbling at her ankles.
“Ouch!” Beth
cried out, but the dog only glared and continued its antics with increasing
vigour. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
The dog
squatted on its haunches, treated her to an ironic expression, and put its
front paws together as if clapping. She’d have laughed, but for a warning look
in the dog’s eyes. Of course I am.
The sharp canine eyes conveyed a growing impatience, Are you stupid, or…what?
“You want me
to follow you, is that it?” She could have sworn the little mongrel nodded.
“But…the others,” she protested.
Never mind them. They must take care of themselves. We
have more important things to do. Now, come on, a
low growl seemed to say. Beth hesitated. Do
you want to help Mulac or don’t you?
“Mulac…?” Beth
checked herself. This was ridiculous.
How could she be having a conversation with a dog? Yet, Mulac’s name rose unbidden in her head
just as if Ace had spoken it aloud.
Ace promptly
dropped on all fours and dived under the tent flap, without a backward glance,
as if the matter was settled. Beth had to concede it was. Confused, puzzled and
not a little frightened, she crawled under the incredibly lightweight folds in
time to glimpse a patch of white flank disappearing into the gloom. She chased
after it and thought she saw something move out of the corner of one eye. But
it was too far away to be sure. Besides, it took all her concentration to make
out the dog’s shadowy form zigzagging crazily through the scrub. Panting hard,
she had to struggle to keep up.
Without any
warning, the dog stopped and performed an adroit belly flop. Beth nearly trod
on its tail and swore. As it was, she tripped and went flying… straight into
Mulac’s open arms. She was unprepared
and instinctively opened her mouth to scream. His kiss silenced her, and it was
a while before she broke free. “This is neither the time nor the place,” she
mumbled and wished she sounded more disapproving. “How dare you!” she added
somewhat belatedly.
“I knew you
would come,” was all he said.
“I must be
mad!” Beth’s self-confidence returned with her anger although against whom it
was mostly directed, the Nu-gen or herself, she remained unsure. Neither did she quite understand why they
were talking in whispers. “It’s not as
if you couldn’t have tracked us down yourself,” she flung at him accusingly.
“What happened to you anyway?” she demanded, partly out of genuine interest and
part;y by way of keeping a moral high ground she felt in imminent danger of
losing.
“I wish I
knew!” Mulac groaned. His voice sounded hoarse to her ears and choked with
uncharacteristic emotion.
Beth felt
compelled to stand back and consider the Nu-gen more closely. Something about
him made her uneasy. He was the same,
yet not the same. The oval disc dangling
from his neck had lost its shine. It had always reminded her of a wolf’s eye.
Now it was as if the wolf had gone blind and no longer posed a threat. Suddenly, she understood what it was about
Mulac that had been missing before. But even as she put a name to it, she
became more disturbed than ever. For the word that sprung to mind was vulnerability.
Once a wolf, emanating an animal lust for life, the Nu-gen now seemed
curiously…tame. “What’s wrong?” she asked gently.
Mulac
hesitated then lifted one hand very slowly to his face. “I am blind,” he
confessed with a simplicity that tore at Beth’s heart. Instinctively, she
glanced at the wolf’s eye but dismissed the ironic comparison as pure fancy.
She braced herself to look directly into the sightless eyes. They were, she
realised for the first time, very beautiful. She wanted to gather him into her
arms, but sensed an embrace would not be welcome a second time. Their reunion
had been spontaneous, impulsive, an acknowledgement of feelings for one another
that neither cared to look at too closely. He was Nu-gen. Such emotion was
alien to him. And she was Bethany Martin from Tunbridge Wells. It occurred to
her that perhaps his blindness was a warning to them both. Almost at once, she
dismissed the thought as too fanciful and melodramatic for words.
“Come on, we
can’t hang around here.” She took his hand but he snatched it away. “Be practical,
mule-head!” she railed at him, “Let me help you.”
“I am Nu-gen,”
he stated flatly.
“You are
blind,” she reminded him and was shocked by her own forthrightness.
Mulac said
nothing and hung back a while before stretching out his hand. Beth, too,
hesitated before taking it. As she did
so, she half-expected to be struck by lightning or something. But nothing
happened. Moreover, she felt nothing. Not even pity stirred within her.
Certainly, there was none of the passion that gripped her as she had responded
to his clumsy kisses. Even so, it was good to feel the warmth and roughness of
his hand in hers. She would have led him back the way she had come but Ace
darted off in another direction.
“What is it?”
growled Mulac. Beth explained. “Follow the dog,” he told her.
“But the
others…” she prevaricated.
“He led you to
me, didn’t he?”
“Yes, but…”
“Then he must
know things.”
“He’s only a
dog!” Beth laughed.
“He knows
things,” repeated Mulac, “We must follow him and find out what he knows.”
“But Mick and
the others, they will be looking for me.”
“And they will
find you when the time is right. Meanwhile, we follow the dog.” Beth agonized, pitting instinct against
emotion.
“Do you trust
me?”
“Of course I
do.” She did not hesitate and he looked pleased.
“Good. We
follow the dog.”
“If you say
so,” she muttered without conviction.
“I do,”
declared the Nu-gen in that same uncompromising tone that was guaranteed to
make her hackles rise. Only, this time she took some perverse reassurance in
the fact. At least he was not full of
self-pity. She could not have handled that.
As it
happened, Ace led them to the spot where Beth had left the others, but by a
roundabout route that meant nothing to her.
While the dog sniffed around, Beth and Mulac were glad to rest.
Suddenly, Beth spotted something shiny on the ground. Bending to retrieve it,
she recognized Mick’s key ring and gave a sharp cry.
“What is it?”
Mulac leapt to his feet. She told him, close to tears.
“So he dropped
it here. It proves nothing.”
“It was clipped
to his belt. He left it here for me to find,” she insisted.
Mulac sniffed
the air. “Krills have been here!”
“Oh, no, not
again…!” She burst into tears. Mulac put an arm around her. “I hate this
place, this…Mamelon!” she sobbed, “I hate it, I hate it!”
“It was not
always like this,” he murmured into her hair. “One day, things will be as they
should be and you will love it here.”
“I don’t think
so!” she returned hotly. Mulac made no answer but squatted on the ground and
rummaged in his knapsack to produce sticks of what she took to be liquorice for
them to eat as well as a flask of vinre.
“Sit,” he told
her brusquely, “A little food and drink make even bad times seem better.”
“I’m not
hungry or thirsty,” she mumbled. It seemed no time at all since she had been
tucking in with Mick and the others.
“Well, I am!”
said the Nu-gen. After watching him for
a while, Beth had to concede he may have a point and accepted one of the
liquorice sticks. It tasted delicious, not like liquorice at all but more like
a tangy cheddar cheese. The vinre,
too, helped calm her nerves. She looked for Ace, but the little dog was nowhere
to be seen.
“What is the
matter?” Mulac felt her tense beside him.
“Ace has
gone!”
“He’ll be
back.” The Nu-gen shrugged so matter-of-factly that it did not enter Beth’s
head to doubt him. She shivered in spite
of the night air’s clammy heat. It was Mulac’s turn to tense. Then he put an
arm around her and let her snuggle against his tunic. Neither spoke. Before
long, she was asleep. But the Nu-gen brooded long into the night.
When he had
stumbled in the mist, in agony from the humming noise piercing his eardrums,
Mulac had not lost consciousness at once.
He tried to call out to the others, but no sound emerged from his lips
as he engaged in a fruitless battle with mounting panic. Instinctively, he
glanced behind at where the danger lay. A yellow fog was rolling through the
mist like a hazy fireball, looming bigger and bigger as it bore down upon him.
He had struggled to rise. But his left leg dragged on every muscle and he was
forced to cower where he lay. He was
Nu-gen, he kept telling himself. Fear meant nothing to him. Yet, he understood
only too well, that what gripped his heart in an iron fist was sheer terror.
The
approaching horror had gathered pace and was about to swallow him whole. Staring
annihilation in the face and powerless to defend himself, stories about his
forefathers sprung to mind. Was this, he wondered, what it was like to lose
one’s soul? Nor did it seem strange to
put the question even though, as Nu-gen, he had been reared to believe he had
no soul to lose. Suddenly, in his mind’s
eye, he saw wolves. Wolves…? A
distant memory tugged at his mind. “Who
am I?” he asked himself without thinking.
All at once, he was distracted. A small dog appeared out of nowhere. It
leapt at him before he had time to grasp its intention. Too weary even to be
surprised, he rolled on his back. The dog landed on his stomach. The ball of
fog was practically upon them. The dog growled. He only vaguely saw the animal
take a defensive stance. Past caring, he shut his eyes and awaited the worst.
As he closed
his eyes, the awful humming had ceased. Instantly, he began to feel like his old
self. He felt the dog shift slightly where it still lay on his stomach but
sensed the immediate danger had passed.
Experiencing a sensation like clammy fingers poking him all over, he had
presumed the fog was upon them. At the
same time, terror gave way to an intuitive sense of its groping impotency.
Then he had
opened his eyes and seen… nothing. He was blind.
Panic had welled
within him again, its clawing fingers reminding him of the fog. Only, this was
worse. He sensed the mist had thinned, maybe even lifted completely. Why, oh why could he not see for
himself? The dog stirred. Instinctively, he reached out, but it eluded
his grasp and ran off. Come back, he’d wanted to yell at the top
of his voice. Yet, although his lips
moved, they made no sound. I will, don’t worry. He seemed to hear an
answering call in his head and put it down to wishful thinking.
After a while,
he had got shakily to his feet and taken a few tentative steps only to trip on
something he took to be a fallen branch and go sprawling. For the first time in
his life, he, Mulac, wept.
How long had lain there, hugging his misery as if it were the only meaningful thing left to
him, he would never know. A picture of
Bethan, called Beth, floated into his mind’s eye and lingered. “Help me,” he
heard himself sob and saw her so clearly that she might have been real.
“I’m coming!”
The image of her lips had moved, and he knew it would not be long before she
found him. The motherworlder’s lovely eyes had filled with tears and a passion
equal to his own. He felt himself come alive again. Yet, how could this be? He
was Nu-gen, and Nu-gen had no time for such things. Oh, they had feelings, of
course they did. They knew about love, hate, jealousy… They could be happy,
sad, and moved to run a whole gamut of feeling. Sometimes, they might even
experience a special rapport with another in the tribe. But this fire, this passion, it was alien to
Nu-gen. He feared it almost as much as he had feared the fog. But where he had
dreaded the fog swallowing him whole, he would gladly give himself to this. Who am I to feel this way?” he demanded of his inner self and
recalled asking himself the same question even as the ball of fog had caught up
with him and proceeded to probe him, mind, body and spirit.
He had
staggered to his feet and plunged resolutely into the darkness that was all
that awaited him. In spite of his blindness, some deeper instinct came to his
aid. He sensed he had nothing to fear so long as he kept the image of Bethan in
his head and followed sounds in his ears, much like a dog barking, as if
issuing directons.
Safe now,
Mulac looked down at the sleeping Bethan beside him and let the warmth and
smell of her invade his remaining senses. So much so, he could not bear to
sleep. Indeed, he put up a game fight. Inevitably, though, sleep won if
disinclined to temper any victory with mercy.
“Ah-hhh…!” Mulac screamed, tossing and turning in a cold sweat.
“What the…?”
Beth woke and had to struggle free of the Nu-gen’s grip on her arm. “Mulac,
wake up!” His eyes flew open. Instantly, he relaxed his hold. The anguish of
his expression at not being able to see cut her to the quick and helped her
stay calm. “You were having a nightmare.” She wiped his face with her scarf.
“Nightmare?”
he groaned.
“A bad
dream….”
“Ah, yes!” Now
he understood. “Strange, how asleep I can see and awake I cannot. Awake is
like…being dead,” he said with a gentle irony that devastated her more than if
he had ranted and raved. She fumbled awkwardly for something to say to reassure
him, rejected various clichés and was relieved to hear a familiar barking. “Ace..!” She scrambled to her feet. The dog
bounded up to her, wagged his tail, cocked his head on one side then ran off
again. “He wants us to follow,” she told Mulac.
“So, what are
we waiting for?” The swarthy Nu-gen instinctively pushed Beth’s helping hand
away. But his sense of balance left much to be desired and he was forced to
reach out for it again. He heaved
himself up and would have withdrawn the hand, but she clutched his fingers
tightly.
“Don’t you
dare let go of my hand, do you hear? She told him. “You need me as much as I
need you. It may not suit either of us,
but that’s life. Am I right or am I right?”
“You may have a
point,” he conceded dryly and let her guide him. It took every last drop of
willpower. He felt naked and humiliated. But what choice did he have?
“Females!” he grumbled under his breath. Beth heard, gave his hand a gentle
squeeze and was rewarded with a blast of muttered oaths. They trudged on, Ace leading the way.
An early
morning haze was already lifting by the time the unlikely trio reached the
desert proper. Beth stopped, awe-struck. Ahead of them stretched an appalling
expanse of red sand likely to intimidate the most formidable spirit. The barren
landscape of Fah-y-Noor, Place of Skulls, was much as she imagined hell.
Ace ran ahead,
jerkily, with numerous stops and starts. He would wait for them to catch up,
and then dart off again, disappear beyond one of the numerous sandy dunes only
to hare back in a short while, alternatively barking encouragement and growling
with impatience. Time passed slowly. The
sand scorched the soles of their boots. Mulac had taken to placing his left
hand upon her right shoulder as he padded, morosely, one step behind; to Beth,
it felt like a ton weight.
Above, the sun
glared with relentless ferocity. Inconsequentially, Beth found herself
wondering yet again why Mamelon had two moons but only one sun. Just as well or we’d be fried alive for
sure. Several aryds swooped, made a low arc just
above their heads and hovered like ghouls. “We must find shade and rest,” she
gasped. They had been trudging for miles, surely? Yet the far-off purple haze of mountains
seemed no nearer than when she had last peered over the scarf tied around her
face. Meanwhile a gritty dust continued to tear at the few exposed parts of her
flesh like a swarm of vicious insects.
“No time,”
Mulac, insisted “We must press on,” he panted. How could he tell her that there
was no shade? Surely she must know the
flask of vinre in his pack did
not hold infinite mouthfuls? The Nu-gen
grimaced. He had crossed deserts before.
But, this Hah-y-Noor, this was
something else. Would they die in this terrible place, he wondered? Do I care? Of course he cared! And, no, we are not going to die. He was
sure of it. All at once, without quite knowing why, he felt elated. In his mind’s eye, an inviting cameo
appeared. He saw a steady stream of water among a cluster of rocks trickling
into a grassy patch shaped like the palm of a hand. “This way!” he cried. Dropping his hand from Beth’s shoulder, he
hastened ahead. It was his turn to lead, and he did so without flinching.
“What are you
doing?” Beth cried and ran after him.
“Trust me.”
“But…you’re
blind!
“Take my hand,
there is a sand storm coming.”
“You’re mad!”
“Probably,”
Mulac agreed. He waited for her to catch up and then grabbed her arm. Exasperatedly, Beth shook herself free. Suddenly, the storm struck and she could not
see Mulac at all even though he was standing right next to her. He groped for her hand and this time she knew
better than to pull away. She resisted, however, as the Nu-gen attempted to
lead her through the swirling red sand. “We should wait until the storm
passes!” she yelled.
“By then we’ll
be dead,” he shouted back. Beth began to panic. By now she was utterly
confounded and as blind as he. Battered by wind, grit and sand, she screamed
above the awful cacophony, “We should wait for Ace. He’ll find us, I know he
will!”
“Do you want
to be found alive or dead? Trust me,” he repeated.
How can I? she would have
retorted had a powerful gust not almost flung her to the ground. Sand poured
into her mouth, gagging her. Mulac made no answer but dragged her to her feet
and pulled her after him. Beth submitted, resigned to going along with
this…utter madness.
Mulac headed
for the fist-shaped rocks. So vivid were they in his mind’s eye that he was
convinced they were no illusion. How he could be so sure when he had never
passed this way before was beyond his understanding. He only knew that he was
right. Bowing his head against the sand, he battled on, thankful that Bethan
had decided to co-operate. Suddenly, the
ground became much firmer albeit still belching grit and sand. He paused and peered ahead with sightless
eyes that were smarting terribly and ‘saw’ a promontory just ahead. Shelter... He tried to hurry, but it
made no difference. Progress was agonizingly slow.
Finally, they
made it. The desert floor sloped sharply, propelling them into a niche of rocks
that formed a small cave just big enough to allow two exhausted refugees from
the storm to crawl inside. Immediately
above them, a jutting rock wagged an impotent finger at the desert’s blood-red
fury.
In such a
confined space, the bedraggled pair had no choice but to lie down. Both
welcomed an excuse to press tightly against the other. Neither, though, was
proof against the onslaught of raw emotion that reared and fell upon them like
a pack of hungry wolves.
They made
love.
Eventually,
they slept and it was Mulac who woke first although he closed his eyes again
almost upon opening them. The fragrance of Beth’s hair under his chin triggered
memories of their lovemaking. In spite of a raging thirst, he managed a grin.
No female had ever satisfied him better or made him feel so…complete.
Complete? The Nu-gen played with it on his tongue. It sounded strange, yet
apt. Then the silence hit him like a sledgehammer and he gave a long sigh of
relief. The storm must have passed. A
warm wetness began stroking his face, now tickling his nose. Recognizing its
source, the Nu-gen opened his eyes and reached out for the little canine. Well done, the dog seemed to say,
wagging its tail and waking Beth.
“Ace..!” Beth was even more delighted than Mulac to
see the little mongrel again.
“What’s that?”
Mulac pricked up his ears.
“It sounds
like…” Beth strained to hear.
“Running
water...!” Mulac leapt to his feet and sent the dog flying. Ace did not seem to
mind in the least and led the way, barking loudly, to a clutch of rocks nearby
that closely resembled the fingers of a hand. Into a tiny indentation, not
unlike a child’s palm, dripped a steady trickle of water. There was only room
for one at a time. Beth expected Mulac to go first. Uncharacteristically, he
hung back. She promptly knelt down and
cupped her hands although she did not drink immediately but lifted her precious
load to the Nu-gen’s quivering lips. The wolf’s eye around his neck glinted in
the sunlight as if winking. It crossed Beth’s mind that the wolf approved of
her and she found the whimsy oddly comforting. Then she lay flat again and
drank her fill before assisting Mulac to take her place.
“We have
wasted enough time,” growled Mulac. “Fill the flasks with water then we must
leave. Whatever waits for us in the Purple Mountains will not wait forever,” he
added with a certainty he could not explain. He pointed. “There is an
underground stream we can follow. Since it has not dried up completely, it may
well continue to provide water.”
Beth looked
where he pointed but saw nothing. “How can you possibly know that? Besides,
you’re…”
“Blind, yes.
Thank you for reminding me,” he said scathingly. “Do not ask me to explain for
I cannot. Yet, in my mind’s eye, I see what I see. You can trust me, or…” He
shrugged and proceeded to scramble over some rocks ahead. However, she saw that
he did so with none of the sureness of someone with normal vision. She pursed
her lips. Mulac may well see whatever it was he thought he could see, but that
certainly wasn’t everything. She finished filling the leather flasks and then
hurried after him, grabbing his hand as he stumbled. He snatched it away. “I am not a child. I do
not need you to hold my hand,” he snapped.
“Well, I do!” Beth retorted.
“Huh!” was all
Mulac said but the way his fingers entwined with hers and gave them a gentle
squeeze belied the Nu-gen’s surly manner. Beth’s heart skipped a beat and she
was almost glad he couldn’t see her face.
But Beth was
mistaken. Mulac could ‘see’ her face clearly.
It was uncanny, this inner vision. By now, he was almost accustomed to
it. Once the initial shock had worn off, he’d quickly adapted. He did not accept it, and never would. At the
same time, common sense dictated he must resign himself to the condition, for
now at any rate. Nor had it taken long before he began to appreciate how this
lack of normal sight was no ordinary disability. On the contrary, he had the
strongest sense that it was a gift. But,
.how, why? To add to his confusion,
a voice inside his head insisted that no external forces had imposed this
blindness upon him. Rather, this inner vision had been summoned. Should he feel reassured or take it as a warning?
“This is madness,” he muttered, not for the first time. He shook his black mane
and set his jaw resolutely. Whatever, if the weird phenomenon saw them safely
across Fah-y-Noor, he supposed
they must be grateful.
The pair set
off again. Neither mentioned their lovemaking, nor were their thoughts ever far
from it.
To be continued